How to Get What You Want
When you’re getting into #DoMode, learning how to effectively communicate what you need from others is very important. You’re probably going to need a lot of favors in the initial stages of chasing your goals. Everyone has their own communication style and how they connect with people. Whether it be through text messages, phone calls, or in person, knowing how to connect with others is essential for any type of relationship to grow. No matter your communication style, one way to work on this is by framing all conversations. Framing is the way you present the information you are trying to communicate. This is important because it can be the difference between getting what you want out of a conversation or having the doors shut in your face. Being mindful of framing can help you get the things you need in order to be where you want to be. Let’s look at some ways in which you can improve how you communicate.
Being sure that you use the right tone when speaking to others can greatly impact the outcome of a conversation. Let’s use an example. Your significant other wants you to buy them a gift. First, they butter you up with a compliment or show their appreciation. Then, speaking in a sweet tone, they go for the kill and ask you for what they really want. Since your spirits are high from the positivity they surrounded you with and the tone they spoke to you in, you agree to buy them the gift. But what if your significant other hadn’t given you a compliment, or spoke to you in a tone that was loud and demanding? Think about how you would react when asked to buy them a gift. More than likely, an argument would ensue and your significant other would get what they want. You can apply this same scenario to your business relationships. If you are requesting a favor from someone, you must be mindful of the tone you are speaking in. All business conversations (not just the ones that include you asking for a favor) should have a tone that is respectful, confident and positive. Check out this blog post from Dr. Rick Hanson on how tone affects your message.
What you are saying
Now that you are mindful of your tone and how you are speaking to other people, let’s focus on what you are saying to them. When you are having conversations, especially ones that have favors attached to them, you want to frame a conversation very meticulously. Here are some tips on how to work on what you are saying.
Inquire about the other individual
Remember, people love to talk about themselves. Show a general interest beyond the normal “how are you doing” by asking specific questions about the individual’s life and their business. It signifies that you actually care.
This one seems simple and should go without saying, but people always get this part wrong. Listen with the intention of gathering information, not solely with the intention to reply. Let the person work through their points without interjections. Keep eye contact and show engagement through your body language. A couple of head nods and “Mmhmms” don’t hurt. It shows you are listening and comprehend what they are saying.
Being positive keeps everyone in the conversation upbeat and in good spirits. Even when you speak about topics that aren’t so great, such as a tragedy or a loss. There are ways to keep the conversation going from a “glass half-full” perspective.
After the pleasantries subside, it’s time to get to business by being direct. Be specific about what you need, so that it leaves no room for interpretation. Being vague about what you need leaves room for the other person to be unclear on how they can help you. This can lead to the wrong assumptions and leave you without the favor that you need.
Bring something to the table
When asking anyone for anything it is only right that you have something for them in return. You will find yourself in situations where what you have to offer right now may not be as good as you are asking for, but most times the gesture is good enough. Be prepared to offer something of value, even if it is minimal.
Being disingenuous can put people off right from the start. When you are genuine throughout your conversation, it shows a level of sincerity and confidence that brings the other person good vibes. After all, you are asking someone for a favor and you want them feel that you are trustworthy and someone that they want to interact with, whether on a personal or business level.
(Life Hacker hits on some of these points in their post about how to ask for favors check it out here.)
Overall, knowing how to frame a conversation can do wonders for you. These steps can help you approach your business conversations in a much more productive way. Let your message be heard and received in the best manner possible, and watch how it will assist you in getting into your #DoMode.